What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
