I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
