My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
bring money and cleavage
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
