He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
