Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
