Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
