I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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