How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
im on a boat
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