u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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