We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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