so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We left the knife in your bed.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
