My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
