I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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