"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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