I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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