I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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