I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
