I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
