So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
