I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
