i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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