Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
