I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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