Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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