Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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