You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
