sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
