he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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