It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
