cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
