I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
