I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
