I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Did I show you my penis last night?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
