New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
you will always have a special place in my vag
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
