Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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