That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
