I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
