Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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