I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
