So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
