well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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