and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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