We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
