You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
