Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
