It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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