I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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