So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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