The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
