Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
my being single is dangerous.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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