i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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