You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
